One Day Love Affairs.


At 15, I am a 6’3”, 160 lbs, stick. It wouldn’t be long before I got the nick name ‘spiderlegs’. I am a ‘virgin’ sssh, don’t tell anyone, third base, I have been there. I fall in love everyday; it is rarely returned. The mean guys seem to be the one that have girlfriends; I’m not mean.

My first ODLA, was a girl at Clayton. Her name was Lorna, well, at least that I remember. She was blonde and pretty; not beautiful.

One day I am walking home from school with a friend, he was a better friend of Lorna, and we are invited in to her house to see her science fair project. We said sure, there wasn’t much going on outside. Her project was set up in an unused bedroom; it don’t recall if she had brothers of sisters.

The room is full of several different sized plywood boxes, most of the boxes have been cutaway and screened with fine mesh metal screens. Inside the first small box that I look into, there is a large furry white oval, it is surrounded by hundreds of clear threads. I look closer and perched above the oval is the largest Black Widow I have ever; and never hope to see. Another box holds about 20 smaller, black balls of venom. Another has a multitude of male Latrodectus mactans.

I am awestruck as I listen to Lorna explain what she was doing at each station of the project. I have fallen in love with a ‘smart girl’ who knew she was. I left the house after a half hour, and walked home, shaking imaginary (I hope they were imaginary) black widows off my shoulders. I never saw her again, and I seem to remember hearing that her project came in 2nd in the State Science Fair.

A year and a half later I am at the 7th street pits. We hear gunshots and make our way to the sound. There is a group of five or six people target practicing. We are welcomed into the group. Everyone is armed. It is 1966 so there is only one rifle that wasn’t bolt operated.

I turn and there she is. An angel. She is 5’6”, blond, slender and 15. She is wearing a light blue light cotton, long sleeved plaid shirt. A pair of multi-pocketed khaki pants; those were a high ticket item in 66. She also has on a khaki vest. There are several sewn on patches. One is a NRA sharpshooter award, and the dozen other patches are similar. Her most attracting (not attractive) feature is the Remington .308 strapped over her shoulder and the holstered .38 on her lovely hips. The rifle has a large scope mounted on it. I watch as she fires off round after round, scoring bulls eyes more often that not.

I ask her question after question and she answers them all fully and intelligently, I am once again talking to another ‘smart girl’, they are out there guys, it’s just that they are ‘smart’ enough to avoid fools like us.

It is good that a ODLA is just that, if not, I probably would have been poisoned or shot by now.

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